UGH Problems

So my best friend is moving and ever since Saturday we've been hanging out like crazy before she moves on Wednesday.  Of course that means eating out and drinking.  I feel like I want to start Weight Watchers positively by really following the program perfectly.  Going out every day and night has been making this really difficult.  I feel like I am starting to fall back into my old routine of falling off the wagon before I've even begun.

Maybe I'm hopeless :0(

Day 1

I got home really late last night, so I didn't take the time to prepare my meals to take to work...I'll admit it, I was having a major lazy moment.  For breakfast I had the French Toast SmartOnes frozen meal.  I was excited to see these show how many Weight Watcher points each are worth.  It's perfect for me when I am in a hurry.  For lunch, I had a last minute lunch meeting at work.  I am so bummed that I don't have my "dining out" book yet, so when we went to a Thai restaurant I went for a small bowl of Wonton Soup.  I'm hoping that wasn't too bad since I have a total of 29 points to use each day.  For dinner I packed another SmartOnes frozen meal.  Tomorrow I will start actually preparing food instead of taking the easy way out.  I am actually excited to start throwing some things together to see what I come up with.  I've never really been into cooking, so that will be new for me also.  I am limiting the frozen food for those days where I am in a hurry and don't have time to cook.

Tonight I am going to get on the treadmill and walk for 30 minutes.  Honestly, I am not looking forward to it.  It does not seem like a great way to spend a Friday night, but I do have a lot of DVR shows I can use to occupy my mind while on the treadie.  Hopefully if I start slow and get back in the routine of working out, then I will start to look forward to it. 

I'm pretty excited for this weekend.  Every Saturday and Sunday I always take my dog on an hour walk at the park.  It's so much fun for me to listen to my music and watch my dog have so much fun running along side of me after the squirrels.  Plus, I'd be lying if I didn't tell you that I wasn't excited to see a certain someone.  This guy walked by me and smiled one day.  I had seen him before, but never looked at him because I'm too shy and...yes insecure.  I mean what guy that is so cute would be interested in me when I am so out of shape (regardless if this is true, my mind conjures this up).  Anyways, a couple of months ago my dog ran in front of him on the path so when I was reeling her leash back in I looked up at him and he smiled.  I gave that shy half smile back which probably made me look like a total snob.  The circle at the park you walk around is so big that you always see everyone twice.  So I told myself that the second time I saw him on the circle I would give a real smile back (showing teeth).  I did so and now fast forward two months ahead and he ALWAYS smiles, waves, and says good morning every time.  He could just be a friendly guy, but it's fun to imagine the possibilities.  Lets hope for no rain tomorrow!

You're looking at the newest Weight Watchers member!

Well I did it…I took the leap of faith and signed up for Weight Watchers online just now!  I do not usually follow celebrity endorsements as I find it hard to believe that celebrities really use some of these products, but I will admit that Jennifer Hudson really reeled me in.  She looks amazing and with her busy lifestyle I imagine she needs the flexibility that Weight Watchers offers.  I feel like she lost the weight so quickly and wonder if it’s really from Weight Watchers alone. 

After checking out the website I am really nervous.  It seems so complicated.  Every diet I’ve ever tried I’ve been told what to eat, and now I have to go grocery shopping and have no idea where to start.  I printed out their suggested meal plans to use as a guideline as well as the power foods list.  I even bought the dining out guide for 19.95 to carry in my purse for those last minute plans.  I think what I need to do is check out some other Weight Watchers blogs so that I can set up a lifeline in case I need support or have questions.  One thing I am definitely excited for is tracking my weight loss and activity progress level.

Besides grocery shopping tonight, I also have to take before pictures and measurements.  I will weigh myself tomorrow morning to get my accurate start weight.  Some of my concerns are if this will really work for me, if I don’t see results I tend to get discouraged.  I am also afraid that it will be hard for me to follow the points system; I will give you an update on that tomorrow since it is Day 1.

MY CONFESSION TODAY:  I am afraid I won’t lose any weight and will keep gaining.  :0(

Let The Confessions Begin...

Hello everyone…which probably isn’t anyone since this is the first day writing in my blog.  I’m new to this whole thing, so please be patient.  If you couldn’t tell from the title, I am in fact a YoYo Dieter.  I guess the first step when recovering from an addiction is admitting it…so here goes…

I am sure a lot of people will frown upon me for my history with dieting etc., but the point of this blog is to rectify my past.  It all started when I was 14 years old and moved to a new state, new high school, everything was new.  I was always skinny and I guess the stress from moving made me blow up like a balloon.  In reality it probably wasn’t that big of a balloon, considering I would love to be that weight again right now.  At 17 I tried the Atkins diet.  I lost a lot of weight, but it was easily gained back as soon as I started eating carbs again (I’m a carb/starch addict).  At 18 I tried Metabolic Research Center (another diet program).  You basically starve to death on this diet, so it didn’t last long.  In college I did the “eat less workout more” diet.  You eat small amounts and then spend about 3 hours a day in the gym.  Worked brilliantly, but was short lived.  Also throughout college I went on about every diet pill you can imagine and even tried the diet program L.A. Weightloss, which of course they all failed.

After college I moved to California for my career.  I moved from my family and friends and completely started over.  Being in California did not help my self esteem or my weight.  I spiraled out of control with the fast food.  I tried Nutrisystem and it worked…during the 3 months I was on it I lost 36 pounds.  The problem is I don’t like beans and a majority of their food consists of beans for protein.  The items without beans were limited, so I was stuck eating the same thing every day and eventually fell off the wagon.  After Nutrisystem I tried the HCG Protocol where you take the hcg drops.  It worked really quickly, but was so strict that I didn’t have the will power to stick to it.  All of the diets I’ve done I get really depressed because the programs are usually so strict that you are not allowed to go out to eat, or you are limited to only a salad.  When my friends would ask my out to lunch I would have to say, “No, but do you want to go running at the park”.  Needless to say the offers to hang out started to shrink.

By this time you can start to see a pattern that I go way too hardcore on a diet and then fall off the wagon and can never get back on.  I’ve decided to try Weight Watchers Online.  I realize that I need to learn how to eat REAL food in healthy combinations.  I need to train myself that it is ok to go out to eat, but you have to make good choices.  My problem has always been that I don’t know what those choices are.  It’s also cheaper then many diets if you choose the online option.  I may not lose the weight as quickly with Weight Watchers as other diets, but I feel like I will be able to be more of a real person and not such a recluse.  I am going to do a healthy work out regime instead of kill myself as usual.  This blog is to help me face my challenges instead of hide them.

MY CONFESSIONS TODAY:  I am an emotional eater which has resulted in binge eating on fast food.  My guilt leads me to lie to my family and friends and hide my food choices which lead to a downward spiral.